employee engagement

How To Show Appreciation Without Being A Schmoozer

HowToShowAppreciationWithoutBeingASchmoozer-01First off, let me just say: I love that my work allows me to use words like 'schmoozer' in my titles. Entrepreneurship for the win! Onward… The topic of today's post comes to you from numerous conversations I've had with clients. The pressing question I want to address today is: "How can we show appreciation to the people in our lives, in a way that's genuine and effective?"

This will serve you well at work AND at home AND everywhere in between, of course.

First off, it's useful to take a step back and ask yourself: What's my EPT (Encourager Personality Type)?

(YES! I did just make up that acronym.)

But, seriously.

Do you A.) find it easy to speak encouraging words and sing the praises of the people in your life?

Or, are you B.) more reserved in your acclamations?

Or, maybe, C.) the idea of "using your words" seems too touchy feely and it makes your skin itch and your heart palpitate...?!

It's REALLY important to distinguish this.

It might be that you're already doing a great job verbalizing your appreciation. If you already "seek out the good" and are intentional about expressing your appreciation, then good for you!

On the other hand, if you are not so sure how well you convey your appreciation or if you know expressing isn't your top-strength, then keep on reading. This blog post is for you! Actually--keep reading, either way... because someone you know might resonate with this info as well!

Everyone knows that constant praise (AKA: schmoozing) loses its impact. But neglecting to offer sincere words of appreciation could lead to some serious issues.

As stated in the Forbes article "10 Reasons Your Top Talent Will Leave You" by contributor Mike Myatt, "Failing to recognize the contributions of others is not only arrogant and disingenuous, but it’s also just as good as asking them to leave."

Expressing appreciation makes people feel valued. Expressing appreciation makes people feel seen. Deep down we all crave to feel seen.

This might be a good time to remind you: what you practice is what you get good at. So, rest assured: if expressing appreciation doesn't come naturally to you, that's nothing a little practice can't fix.

It's Simple. Let's Talk Specifics
  1. Find a good time (with minimal distractions).
  2. Be SPECIFIC about a recent positive experience. You don't have to go on and on about it.
  3. Verbalize your appreciation. Share with them directly (not to someone else!) WHY their input was helpful, valuable, or appreciated.
  4. Be sure to make some eye contact.
  5. Don't pat them on the head.

That's it. Easy, peasy.

Last, and certainly not least, know this: if you struggle to recognize the good things coming from the people around you... it's highly likely you aren't recognizing the good you are doing, personally. Ask yourself: do I value and appreciate the work I am doing in the world?

I'd love to hear from you. How (or how well) do you show your appreciation to those you work or live with? Comment below and let me know!

Dear reader....I APPRECIATE You!

 

- Sylvia

What if Work Was One Of Your Favorite Things?

WhatIfWorkWasOneOfYourFavoriteThings?-01
WhatIfWorkWasOneOfYourFavoriteThings?-01

When I was a child my favorite thing to play was "work." I loved to play work. It was, really, my favorite thing to do. And, I "worked" a lot of different places, too.

I had my own library.

I became a lawyer who wrote down pages and pages of notes about my cases.

I owned storefronts with dolls and animals for sale.

And, of course, I hosted a good-many lemonade stands.

Looking back, I can see there was one thing I loved about work: the exhilarating feeling of accomplishment.

Playing work allowed me to expand upon my interests.

Playing work allowed me to make an impact.

Playing work put me in my "flow state."

Flow is described by Mihaly Csiksgentmihalyi as "the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity."

Work as play makes sense when you are using your talents and making an impact.

Work as play makes sense when you are a part of a community of people who are working with you towards a common goal.

What would you have to believe in order for work to be one of YOUR favorite things?

What puts you in your flow state?

I'd love to hear from you in the comments below!

-Sylvia

 

The Crippling Disadvantage of a Disempowered Mindset

The Crippling Disadvantage of a Disempowered MindsetI was raking my yard yesterday (because feminism) and I have to confess: for the first patch of my raking endeavors, I had a very disempowered mindset. It was kinda funny though, because just a few weeks ago I recall raking my front yard and having a blast. A blast, you say? Really? Yes, it was a blast. Because the weather was great. Because I was ready to get out of the house and away from my laptop. Because my body craved some hard work. And because raking my yard on my own makes me feel like SheRa. Okay. I don't know much about SheRa but my friend told me about her and it sounds like she was pretty great.

Yesterday, however, I found myself in the midst of a disempowered mindset. I was way in my head with all too many thoughts (you know we have 60,000-70,000 of them per day, right?). I was feeling a bit stuck and some sort of "behind."

Well, thoughts like these love to be fondled and I knew just the thing to do. I needed to move. Again and again I forget this. A disempowered mindset is not a fate you are stuck with for a lifetime, or even for an entire day.

You can move your body to free your mind.

It didn't happen right away. The first 30 minutes? My mind was still winning .

But strenuous yard work leaves little room for thought fondling (see what I did there?!).

I chose movement to move myself out of useless mind drama.

I know, I know. Some of you are at a desk working.

And some of you are there 'till it's dark.

But there's no {good} reason you can't find a solid 10 minute to move your body in some kind of way.

You see, the crippling disadvantage of a disempowered mindset is that you aren't really living (or performing, or serving, or loving, or working) when you're stuck in your head. And that's exactly where a disempowered mindset keeps you.

There are a few great, known ways to get out of your head: Inquiry (questions). Meditation (shut it off). Movement (the brain changes when we move). It's science and stuff.

My coaching offers solutions through inquiry. But you can do the movement thing or meditation thing on your own.

truly,

-Sylvia