The Work/Life Balance Hoax

I gave a talk a couple of years back about work/life balance.

Well, that’s what they asked me to talk about. And I did... I talked about it...

 

I talked about how work/life balance is a hoax, and how striving for it sets us up for failure.

 

I recall someone at the end raising their hand in a confused sort of way: “So... no balance?!” she asked. "Nope. No balance."

the work/life balance hoax

Instead, I suggested...

 

Clarity.

Clarity around what matters most to you.

 

Priorities.

Priorities in regards to what is a must… and what is a could… or worse yet, a should.

 

Agreements.

Agreements are healthier than expectations. They take the emotion our of the deal, and put the focus on choices and not personalities.

 

We cannot balance work and life.

 

We can’t put our roles into compartments and then be an employee or a business owner in one scheduled lot of time and then be a mom or friend, or whatever else in the other section of time.

You are the employee and the dad. Or the mom and the business owner. Or any other combination of possibilities.

 

You are not your roles. But your clarity about what matters most to you, and how you prioritize your agreements matter.

 

Create healthy agreements to experience a deeper satisfaction...

Work/Life Harmony

 

- Sylvia 

 

Looking for a life coach or speaker for your upcoming Kansas City event. Look no further. Get in touch here.

Is Your Goal Specific Enough?

The first 10 minutes of my 30 minute walk I want to quit. 

Almost every time.

Is your goal specific enough?

Ok, sometimes it’s only the first 7 minutes, but oftentimes it takes the full ten minutes for my body to get the hang of things and start to enjoy the movement.

 

But I’ve learned this about myself and it doesn’t trick me any more.

 

Oftentimes, I’ll trick my mind with a distraction.

 

I’ll put in my earbuds and listen to a podcast.

 

But once my legs and my body realize that I mean business and we are doing this 30 minute power walk thing, it relaxes and I get to enjoy myself.

 

I pull the earbuds out and tuck them away.

That’s when the magic begins.

I’m in nature and I’m in the flow. One of my favorite states.

I’m soaking in the brightness, or the grayness of the day.

I’m watching critters scamper: today’s treat was a squirrel trying to carry an entire branch full of acorns. (He dropped the bundle, and ran up the tree when I got closer. I left him alone so he could come back down and get his great find.)

 

Walks are magical for me, and since my kids started back at school last week, I decided I wanted to commit to three 30 minute walks, per week.

 

See how specific that goal is? 

There’s no way around it.

Either I do it, or I don’t.

 

Oftentimes, people will say: 

I need to workout more.

Or, I need to exercise regularly.

 

How much is more?

 

How often is regularly?

 

Those statements are vague and leave little room for achievement.

 

Set a goal for yourself that is easy to measure. Then, tell a friend.

I told my friend, Pearl.

 

You can tell me, if you’d like.

What can I hold you to doing?

 

- Sylvia 

Are you all in... or one foot out the door?

Before now, I wasn’t really ever committed to my own success.

Sounds crazy but it’s absolutely true and I’d love to tell you why. Stay with me here….

Some of ya’ll have been my readers of my blog for a long time.

Either way, wherever we’ve come together on this beautiful timeline of life, you’ve probably seen me exploring a lot of things.

are you all in... or one foot out the door?

 

One of my favorite sayings is: 

“The way to know life is to love many things." -Van Gogh

 

It goes so well with my many passions!

I designed and sold jewelry all over Kansas City for around 6 years.

And then of course, about three years ago, I decided to pursue life coaching and became a certified coach. 

And there were several other fun pursuits in between all that...

But here’s the truth:

 

I wasn’t ready, or willing to make any of these successful.

 

Even the jewelry business which hit over 1,000 sales on etsy and likely had equal that in local Kansas City sales.

Even the life coaching, where my clients pay me over $100/hour for one-on-one sessions and where I’m paid $1,000 + for an hour keynote.

Despite all of that awesomeness, it’s absolutely true that I was not “ALL IN" with either of those. 

 

I was not completely committed and now I am, and I want to tell you why.

 

The reason I (subconsciously) did not want any of my other businesses to become successful was because it would’ve meant MORE work and MORE time and MORE energy and MORE everything than I had to give.

As a mom, HSP, creative, wife, daughter, sister, and friend… I could not give any more.

 

And more success would’ve meant more work and more of ME than I was willing to give. 

 

Success, then, was this illusive wish. I wanted to sell more, gain more exposure, etc. etc.

But, then... I didn’t, actually.

And, now… amazingly, things are different.

Massive success is not only welcome, but it’s also planned for.

 

My new business, Lifted was built in a way that none of my other businesses have been built. 

 

It’s scalable. 

It’s not reliant on me and me alone.

(If you want more information on this concept, Robert Kiyosaki’s book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" is a GREAT starting point and his book "Cashflow Quadrant” is great read, too!)

Now, more sales does not mean more work for me. (Well, maybe a little, but not much more.) 

 

Instead, more sales means… YESSSS! I can help more people. And that’s the really fun part. 

 

Is it possible that you are blocking your own success as well because what it would mean for your life as a whole? 

And remember... one other favorite quite that has been a guiding light:

 

"Success without fulfillment is failure.”-Tony Robbins

 

Cheers,

Sylvia